How to Address Addiction Issues in Couples Therapy

Whether one or both people in a relationship have an addiction, it affects the relationship negatively. In a recent study, substance abuse was cited as the reason for 34.6% of divorces.

While individual therapy is important in addressing addiction, it’s also important to treat relationship problems, and couples therapy can help. If you and your partner don’t deal with the issues caused by addiction, such as lack of trust and resentment, the stage is set for continued conflict, possible relapse, and an end to the relationship.

Maintaining sobriety is just the beginning when treating couples affected by addiction. Building a strong relationship is a necessary ingredient that helps maintain sobriety, and that relationship must be built by practicing new behaviors.

We have board-certified marriage and family therapists at Happy Apple who are trained to address addiction issues and couples concerns. We understand that addiction affects not only  the individual, but the partner and all family members. 

Research shows couples therapy is effective for addiction issues

National Institutes of Health peer-reviewed studies show that couples who participated in behavioral couples therapy reduced substance abuse more than those who were only receiving individual therapy. Improvements were also recorded in less partner violence and better children’s adjustment. Couples noted improved satisfaction in the relationship and family behavior.

Each partner in a relationship can influence the other positively or negatively. It’s important to realize that a partner can influence, but not demand or control, substance abuse abstinence. Couples therapy helps you address addiction issues in a positive way.

Rebuilding a relationship that has addiction issues

Addiction is a third partner in a relationship. Our therapists are trained to employ various methods as they work with you and your partner in couples counseling. 

Rebuilding the relationship in sobriety includes rebuilding trust — and trust takes time. Couples therapy helps you work on feelings of resentment and betrayal. It’s easy to focus on how many times promises have been broken. Resentment drives a wedge in the relationship and causes a breakdown in sexual intimacy. 

Therapy is a safe place for each partner to express their deepest feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, or other emotion. You reach a deeper understanding of your partner’s pain and acknowledge it. That is the juncture at which the therapist can start working with you to rebuild the relationship on a more positive footing. 

Your therapist may employ cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) — asking you and your partner to become aware of recurring thoughts that are negative and begin to replace them. 

During your therapy sessions, you both learn to recognize risky and maladaptive behaviors so you can begin to change them. You and your partner set healthy boundaries for behavior and agree to accept the consequences for breaking them. 

Making positive changes

At least one person in the relationship has made a habit of turning toward and abusing a substance. We ask couples to practice turning toward each other instead of away from each other. 

Instead of going to a bar after work, make a date to sit down together and ask your partner about their day. Instead of having separate tasks, work together — for example, grocery shop and cook healthy meals together. These new habits help re-establish a healthy emotional bond between you and your partner that is crucial in a successful relationship. 

Your relationship has been scarred by addiction, but we can help. Your therapist lets you know whether couples therapy is appropriate and would be helpful for your relationship depending on the stage of commitment to sobriety. 

Call Happy Apple today to schedule a consultation and learn more about how couples counseling can improve your relationship.