Couples Therapy: What to Expect in Your First Session

Booking your first couples therapy session is a big step toward improving your relationship. But if you’re nervous about it, you’re not alone.

Therapy can feel intimidating if you don't know what to expect, and we want to take the mystery out of the process. At Happy Apple in Columbus Circle, New York City, we specialize in couples therapy and marriage counseling.

We believe that understanding the process can help ease your anxiety and make your first session more productive. Here’s a guide to help you get started.

Introductions and initial assessment

Your first couples therapy session begins with introductions. We give you a brief overview of our therapeutic approach and the structure you can expect in future sessions. Our goal from the start is to establish a safe, judgment-free environment for you to share your thoughts and feelings openly.

Next, we dedicate some time to get to know you and your partner. We may ask each of you to describe your relationship history, current issues, and what you hope to achieve through therapy.

This is an important step, because it helps us understand the dynamics of your relationship and the specific challenges you're facing. Be prepared to answer questions about how you met, significant events in your relationship, and the primary concerns that brought you to therapy.

Identifying goals and expectations

After your initial assessment, we can start to identify specific goals for therapy. This could range from improving communication and resolving conflicts to rebuilding trust and increasing intimacy.

Be honest about your expectations, and be open to hearing your partner's perspective, too. Depending on your situation, we guide you in setting realistic and mutually agreed-upon goals to serve as a roadmap for your therapy journey.

Addressing immediate concerns

Couples therapy is not a quick fix for relationship problems, and long-term goals are essential. However, we can address any pressing issues that need immediate attention in your first session.

This might involve mediating a recent argument or helping you navigate a specific conflict. We can provide strategies and tools to manage these issues constructively, aiming to reduce tension and improve your interactions as you begin therapy together.

Exploring communication patterns

One of the most essential elements of couples therapy is examining how you and your partner communicate. During your first session, we observe your interaction patterns, and we can provide feedback on how these patterns may contribute to your relationship challenges.

We may share a few different communication strategies to try, and you can start implementing them right away. One technique we often recommend is active listening, which helps ensure both partners feel heard and understood.

Establishing a plan for future sessions

Toward the end of your first session, we’ll outline a plan for future sessions with you. This plan may include regular weekly appointments, homework assignments, and techniques to practice between sessions.

Attending your therapy sessions is important, but so is the time you spend outside of therapy. To reinforce the skills you learn in your sessions, we might suggest specific exercises, such as practicing active listening or spending quality time together, to help strengthen your bond.

What not to expect

Before you start couples therapy, it's important to understand that significant changes won’t happen overnight. Your first session is just the beginning of a process that requires commitment, patience, and effort from both partners.

Don't expect all of your problems to be solved in one session — instead, focus on the progress and the tools you’re gaining to improve your relationship over time. 

Starting couples therapy can be a transformative experience for your relationship, and we’re here to help. Schedule your first session at Happy Apple to get started today.