Common Issues Addressed in Couples Counseling
Couples counseling helps you and your partner deal more easily with the inevitable conflicts and challenges of life together. Here are some of the issues our therapists address in couples counseling.
When you commit to your significant other, you commingle your lives in ways that you may not even have imagined or been ready for. Suddenly, you realize that your perspective on life and your expectations for your relationship have been just that: yours.
Your partner has their own background and expectations. After the stage of new love has passed, you may realize that you and your partner have different communication styles, lifestyle choices, and future expectations. That’s normal. But “normal” doesn't mean it’s not challenging.
At Happy Apple, our team offers couples counseling to help you deal with a variety of couples concerns. Founder Maggie Vaughan, MFT, PhD, and our therapists rely on evidence-based counseling techniques, such as emotionally focused therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method.
What are some of the issues that we address in couples counseling? Following are a few of the most common ones.
Sex and intimacy issues
Whether you and your partner took off like a sexual rocket or you’ve fizzled from the beginning, at some point, one of you may feel unsatisfied. Maybe your lives have become so busy that you don’t have time for sex anymore.
Stresses from other parts of your life — including financial worries, work stress, and issues with children — may also affect how often and how happily you’re able to come together for intimate pleasure. Talking about sex, though, can sometimes lead to one partner feeling blamed or disregarded.
If you’d like more from your sex life, or if you feel as though your partner pushes you in ways you don’t like, a therapist helps you find common ground. We teach you sensitive ways of communicating your needs without blaming each other, withdrawing, or demanding.
Financial issues
Money isn’t just about money, especially when it comes to relationships. How much money each partner makes and how each partner spends can affect every aspect of your relationship, including how much you trust each other.
During your counseling sessions, you each examine your relationship with and beliefs about money. You also learn about other issues in your relationship or your past that contribute to financial stress. Most importantly, you learn to talk about money objectively so you can solve money issues together and build a secure future.
Communication issues
In every intimate relationship, issues often boil down to some sort of communication problem. Few people express their feelings, desires, and expectations in a precise way that lays no blame on the other person. Instead, miscommunication and underlying anger create conflict instead of resolution.
With the help of a therapist, you learn to change the way you listen and respond. The communications techniques you learn in couples counseling help you in every aspect of your life together. By learning to listen actively and respond without blame or judgment, you decrease tension in all other areas of your life, too.
Anger and substance abuse issues
As you and your partner settle into your lives together, you may find that your individual struggles affect your relationship. One or both of you may have anger management issues that cause your conflicts to escalate.
One or both of you may be struggling with anxiety or depression or past trauma. Trying to self-medicate with alcohol or recreational drugs only adds fuel to the fire.
During your couples counseling sessions, we explore how your pasts influence your relationship right now. We may also suggest individual therapy to deal with anger or substance abuse issues that threaten to sabotage your work as a couple.
Betrayal and infidelity
Betrayal and infidelity can occur even within a devoted, committed relationship. When your partner has cheated, you may feel that you can never trust them again; if you’ve cheated, you may feel unworthy of forgiveness.
A therapist holds a safe space for each of you to talk about the betrayal and how you each feel about the state of your relationship. You’re able to express the true depth of your feelings while learning how to heal the rift or, if desired, move on to separation.
Would you like a better way to discuss common issues that arise in relationships? Contact Happy Apple for couples therapy today. You and your partner may choose to work with us in person at our Columbus Circle office, or you can attend virtual counseling through our HIPAA-secure private portal.
